The world is a beautiful place, it has so much awe and wonder it is simply magical. Life is a blessing; it is an experience to be treasured and adored. Every moment is sacred, and each second should be cherished whether we are in a state of pure joy or absolute terror. Life is amazing, but it is more than sunshine and smiles, it is more than frowns and tears, life is all of that and everything in-between.
As we drive on the highway of life we face one challenge after the next; sometimes these challenges are horrible hardships and they cause us to forget the beauty, awe, and wonder of the world. We often lose hope in these moments; the magic ceases and we begin to believe life is a curse. When this negativity saturates our existence, the mention of hope instills fear, anxiety, and guilt.
I want to lead you away from these wayward thoughts and guide you away from the pitfalls, misleading road signs, and obstacles. Join me and rediscover the vibrant light of life, bask in the divine brilliance of hope, and live with peace and harmony.
Once Upon a Time...
Nestled within a mound of blankets, I listened to the muffled sounds of my bedroom. Individually they were annoying, together they were an orchestra, a comforting cacophony, a loving lullaby.
Outside my cave of warmth, was a frigid bedroom. Like a vampire, the morning wind leeched the warmth from my room. Leaky air whistled from a poorly sealed window. An electric hum played with a rhythmic rattle. The ceiling fan spun, releasing sounds like tearing paper with an occasional crunchy click.
Blissful was the moment, safe and serene within my sanctuary of warmth. As the sun rose, my inside parts advised me to wake from my slumber. Lying in bed I relished the comfort of my cocoon. I yawned, and with a deep breath I felt something, an uncomfortable itch, a juicy-sludge within my chest.
I coughed to clear whatever it was. Instead, it moved a gurgle of something, a certain something somewhere. Again, I coughed, the slick thickness found its way into my mouth, it was a viscous, coppery, sticky… slickness.
The taste forced open my eyes, something strange was happening… I needed to spit this out, to get this mystery liquid from my mouth. Reluctantly, I reached my arm beyond the barrier of blankets.
Intense barely describes the cold sensation that wrapped my arm. The temperature contrast was excruciating, so cold, so shocking… it made me gasp for air.
My deep breath rattled my insides. I erupted into a coughing fit and with each hack, a glob of thick, mysterious, goop filled my mouth.
My fingertips discovered and grabbed a tissue box. Eagerly and with haste I pulled it under the covers. Slowly my flesh thawed, warmth returning to my skin.
After a moment of recuperation, I placed a tissue against my lips and spat into it. Cough after cough I went from one tissue to the next. It hurt; it was a dry pain scouring my lungs for this never-ending nastiness. I continued to hack until all the tissues were sopping wet. “What is going on?” My heart worried, I needed to see what was on these tissues.
Raising my head from my cocoon I looked down. It was cold, but the chill paled compared to my terror. My heart sank into my stomach, the world slowed, and my thoughts raced. It was at that moment I realized every tissue was soaked in crimson, red, blood.
The Doctor
It was a frightful, frost covered day and my old coat failed to keep the cold at bay. I was concerned but strangely calm. I set up an appointment and made my way to Wentzville a township about 30 minutes from my home. Later others would ask why I didn’t go to the emergency room, the answer is simple, I didn’t think it was an emergency.
I parked my car, slid from my seat, and was greeted by a cold wind against my cheek. It was already difficult to breathe, and it became more challenging through my chattering teeth. Making my way inside the cold chill became less as my flesh began to thaw. I was met by a nurse and taken back to an office to hear my tale and run the typical tests. After she left I sat in my quasi-comfortable chair, nervously wringing a magazine between my hands. I stared through an arrow slit shaped frosted window admiring the leafless winter trees. Though there were no buzzing bees the office was fluttering with all sorts of energy. I could hear the murmur of talking through the walls, the tip taps of shoe covered toes and the hum of the lights above. A time passed, my body warmed and then I was welcomed by a knock on the door.
I was greeted by the friendly face of my primary care physician. His youthful insides gleamed with a friendly smile as he sat across from me. He clicked his fingers against the keys of his computer then turned toward me.
“So, what appears to be the problem?” His voice was soothing and strong.
“I started coughing up blood this morning.” I spoke.
“What kind of blood are we talking about? Is it pinkish, streaky? How would you describe it?”
“I have some with me if you want to see it?” Reaching into my coat I pulled out a blood-filled Tupperware container from my inner pocket.
“Sure” He looked excited. “Can I see it?” He outstretched his arm.
“Are you sure?” I was surprised he wanted to hold the Tupperware container in his hand.
“Yeah, let me take a closer look.” He accepted the container and tilted it from side to side. He watched the blood slide from one corner to the other. “We need to get you in for an x-ray. I bet this is pneumonia. I am going to send you next door to get some tests. I’m sending you home with some steroids and a Z pack.”
We shook hands and I went on my way.
He sent me for an x-ray next door. I collected my belongings and stepped outside, a blast of cold air reminded me how terrible the winter was as it tore through my coat and clothes. I pulled my arms across my chest and headed into the hospital. Stepping inside felt good and I looked around at its interesting décor.
It looked like an old craft store was turned into a hospital, strange to say the least.
The front desk guided me to radiology where my inside zones were photographed with fancy x-rays. Dreading the intensity of the outside air I paced the hall and made a call.
I called one of my greatest friends, the amazing Ashlee. We chit chatted small talk for a few minutes before I broke into the business of my bloody cough. She was concerned but played her hand well and her words comforted my spirit. After saying our goodbyes, I pulled my coat in close and dared the outside world. I ran to my car unlocking it from afar. I hopped inside and slid the key into the ignition. It struggled to start and when it did, lukewarm air poured from the vent. It smelled like maple syrup, it was thick and sticky, clinging to everything causing the windshield to look greasy. I sighed, reached for a rag, and attempted to clean it away so I could see. It did little to improve visibility, mostly it created snot like oily streaks that made it more difficult to see.
Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath and ran my fingers through my hair. I sat for a moment soaking in the sad scene. Wind howled around the car and fluffy snowflakes collected on the grass. It took me a few moments to recollect my cool, but once I did, I clicked my seat belt into place, pressed play and pulled away.
Find Beauty in the Bad
Mother nature is brutal; she is the lifetaker and giver; and she loves all her children equally. Every living creature, meteorological phenomenon and catastrophe is a part of nature. Her ebb and flow has a wonderful way of teaching us to forgive the events we cannot control and to make the most of the ones we can.
When life throws a curve ball into our face, we tend to furrow our brow with a frown, and though this reaction may be reasonable, we must always acknowledge there is more than sadness and upside-down smiles.
Let go of the dark and dreary, lighten your load, leave your abode, and soothe your scene by setting yourself free. Invigorate your insides with the sights and sounds of the wonderful wilderness. Poke around a few paths with a pal, bathe in the shine of the sun and have lots of fun. Find a few skulls, a fancy feather and discover a dreamy day of delight.
I am certain with a little guidance you will quickly remember the exquisite delights of life.